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Russian Slavonic, Orthodox Christian miniature illustrating the Apocalypse of St John. Circa 1750. (Photo by: Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)
Quiz: The Craziest Stories That Didn’t Make It Into The Bible
History - Science
The process of finalizing the biblical canon was a long and arduous one, but even then, a lot of disagreement remains over which books are scripture, and not every church has the same list of Bible books. Some of the apocryphal books have some truly strange stories in them, and it’s time to see how much you know about the books that didn’t quite make it to the Bible.
The Nephilim are briefly mentioned in the Book of Genesis, and according to Enoch, they were half-fallen-angel, half-human hybrids who were over two miles tall — and cannibals to boot. If you like the story of God sending a flood to wipe these creatures out, you can join the Orthodox Tewahedo churches of Ethiopia and Eritrea, where Enoch is biblical canon.
Paul is walking toward Jericho when an enormous lion comes out of a graveyard, but rather than attacking Paul, the lion speaks with a human voice and asks to be baptized. Paul baptizes the lion, and the lion ends up saving Paul later down the line when he’s sentenced to death. Androcles who?
Isaiah is accused of treason by a false prophet spurred on by the demon Beliar, and even though Isaiah tries to hide, he is found and sawed in half, lengthwise. Despite this gruesome execution, he continues prophesying against the king until the moment the saw reaches his mouth.
Jesus rolls back the surface of the Earth so the apostles can see into Hell, and then he brings the apostles to see Satan, whose appearance is so horrible that all the apostles die and Jesus has to bring them back to life. This book also reveals that Satan has a son named Salpsan, which is never followed up on anywhere, making Salpsan the Chuck Cunningham of the biblical apocrypha.
The Acts of Peter expands on Peter’s duel with Simon the Sorcerer from the biblical Book of Acts, as Peter sends a talking dog to mock him, and Simon briefly flies, in an attempt to prove his divinity. At one point, Peter tries to run away from his inevitable death, but he is shamed by Jesus to go back and be crucified.